With this, what is there to do

So with everything that is going on in my life I seem to be creating new problems, don't we all sometimes. I could lay down and say goodnight and forget about it all but I have dreams, I have things that I want to do in life still.

OK here it goes. I have made my mistakes, I have hurt people that I care about and that care about me, I have done things that only I know about but I want to change and I want to be a better person so where does that start.

I went out and got me a person to talk to, non byist. She talks to me and lets me get it off my chest and I don't have to worry if she judges me, hell even if she does she can go to hell because I really don't care about her at all. It is nice though, there are things in my head I'm not sure I want to let out but I have to, its time to change, its time to feel better to get better to enjoy life again.

I think about everywhere I have been in my life, the things that Ive done, the people I have meet, the places Ive seen. Wow what great ride Ive been having. Lets see places...

Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Chez, Grease, Macedonia, Kosovo, Jordan, Iraq, Kuwait, Holland, Serbia, Austria, Bulgaria... they have been so great some I wanted to go to some I didn't but had to, hell its was fine with me.

I have met people that go to a party in nothing but a speed-o and their body painted, people that drink alcohol out of a supper soak er, people that have never driven cars, people that that have nothing at all, and people that have everything you could dream of. Ive met the rich and drank tea with the poor, I once had a chance to go to a school in a 3rd world country that the kids where so happy to see us that one of the little girls started to cry, though my translator I found out that she was saved from a building that had been bombed by a Serbian force, she was trapped and her whole family was killed. She loved us, she stayed right by my side the whole day we where there. The schools teachers sat us down after we gave out school supplies to the kids and we had tea with them. I could go on and on about this deployment, in fact I will.

I have to go now though, I will be blogging about this again. I hope that anyone who reads this will see how much joy a Soldier can get out of a deployment, and how much mental issue we develop from these deployments.

See you again soon.